Dress shopping, Tasting, and Family.. Oh MY!

This past weekend was super busy and full of wedding activities and lots of emotions!! I took Friday off from work so Matt and I could get up there early and go out do Dinosaur with my parents, his mom, and his sister Katie. I can’t even express just how thrilled I am that our families live close by and get along. It’s really awesome. Matt’s mom and my mom get along really well and laugh and joke together like old friends which makes me so so happy. Being with someone who is from the same hometown has many perks but the main one is that we have a common ground for seeing family and friends and don’t have to choose whose family to visit for holidays or breaks which makes me happy. I would never want to keep Matt from his mom (he’s a bit of a mama’s boy which I fully encourage and love) and he knows how much I love being around my parents so it works out great. Friday night after dinner we had a quiet night at home and went to be early so we could be up Saturday morning to meet Matt’s dad and his wife, Lisa, for breakfast. We had a nice time seeing them and catching up. Lisa is really friendly and nice and they both liked hearing about the wedding plans. The main event for Saturday though was definitely dress shopping. It was very special for me because my Aunt Ellen and my Nana came from out of town to go with us which meant a lot to me. I went dressing hunting with quite the entourage including my Nana, Aunt Ellen, Aunt Judi, my mom, Katie, and Jenn. I had a bit of anxiety going into it that it would be too many people and be a bit overwhelming but everyone was really supportive and made me feel like a million bucks with all the compliments I was getting!

For any bride in the Syracuse area I highly recommend a visit to Rebecca’s Bridal Boutique especially if you’re anything like me and like a more personal experience in a smaller more intimate environment. The ladies there were very friendly and helpful and while they had a smaller selection than most stores the dresses that I did try on were all really beautiful and I easily could wear any of them on my wedding day. I tried two dresses there in particular that I felt great in but there were parts of them that I wasn’t sure about. If they were somehow merged into the same dress then I would have probably bought it right then and there but I know I should keep looking. The right dress is out there that will have all of the elements I’m looking for. I just have to find it!

I was feeling so good after being in Rebecca’s that I decided we continue on and go to New York Bride which is right down the street. Not the best idea. While they have TONS of dresses in there that were beautiful it was just very overwhelming for me especially after having such a personalized experience in Rebecca’s and finding (nearly) perfect dresses for the right price. None of the dresses I tried on at New York Bride were quite what I’m looking for and my enthusiasm faded fast. I can’t thank Jenn (my lovely maid of honor) enough for being there to help me squeeze and shimmy in and out of all those gowns. I knew that wedding dresses are heavy but you never really know just how heavy until you are getting in and out of multiple dresses one after another. I was a sweaty mess by the time we were done and desperately was craving a cocktail (Jenn too!). Good thing we had a BBQ  and campfire planned at my parents house for that evening!! Overall it was a successful shopping trip and helped me figure out what I’m looking for.

Sunday was a big day as well! We had our tasting at Dibble’s Inn where the wedding is. Matt and I drove out there a little early so that I could show him the place. I picked out Dibbles in April with my parent’s without Matt seeing it which was a bit scary but he trusted my judgment and I was so excited to bring him there to show him the place. When we got there the first thing I noticed was that the ceremony space has come a long way in just the past few weeks. Our ceremony space is in the back of the property by the creek and since we were there last all the foliage has grown in and they planted flowers and build a cement pathway leading to it. There is now also a white fence with a gate build around the space to make it private and cozy inside which I love since that was a concern of mine. Now all my worries and concerns about the venue are gone and I was so happy that Matt loves the venue as much as I do. My parents and Matt’s parents were there for the tasting also and it was really fun to try all the food and pick which dishes we want to serve. The thing I was the most excited about however was the vegan options that the chef brought out for us to sample. It’s really important to me that everyone who comes to our wedding has a good meal to eat so I was so happy that the chef took the time to prepare three vegan entrees for us to choose from. We also will have a gluten free choice at the wedding which I’m happy about. Now we just have to pray that the chef doesn’t leave between now and the wedding!!  It was a great experience and it was fun to see the venue again and show everyone where our wedding will be. Everything about this past weekend made it all so much more real. I don’t think I could be any happier about where we are getting married and I’m so excited for all the planning and fun things coming up in the next year.

I will be going back up to Syracuse to do some more dress hunting in a couple weeks! Until then I will continue browsing dresses online and subjecting Matt to multiple episodes of “Say Yes to The Dress” and “Four Weddings” (he actually likes these shows so don’t believe him if he tells you otherwise!).

It’s WEDDING SEASON.

As May comes to a close we say hello to wedding season! My facebook feed is already flooded with wedding pictures and our fridge is decorated with save the dates and invitations to the weddings we’re invited to. Matt and I have 3 weddings to attend this year and as much as I love a good party I can’t help but be relieved that it’s not more than that. Being a guest at a wedding can be pricey and now that we are saving for our own wedding we are feelin’ it even more. However, now that I have the experience of writing a guest list I can really appreciate how much care and consideration goes into inviting people to a wedding.. especially when on a budget. If you’re invited to someones wedding it’s really quite an honor. This couple is saying that they want you there to share with them this huge special day in their lives. You may feel pressure to spend money on a gift and buy a new dress to wear, but it’s worth it to be able to witness something as special as a wedding. Also wedding receptions are a TON of fun.

Now that we are engaged and planning our own wedding I find myself paying a LOT of attention to the way other couples do things. Facebook is interesting in that it’s like having a peek into people’s weddings when you weren’t even invited! Maybe it makes me a creeper but I like that I can look through pics from people’s weddings and pick out things I like or don’t like. It’s strange that everything is so open and public now. I can be logged into facebook and a picture will pop up in my feed of a couple at the altar kissing.. posted in real time RIGHT after they married. Recently I’ve been very attracted to the idea of having an “unplugged ceremony.” I think I would really like guests at our wedding to leave the photography up to the professionals (We will be paying them a lot of money!) and just be in the moment and enjoy our ceremony. I want to look back at pictures from our ceremony and not see iPhones in the air and the last thing I want to be hearing when exchanging vows with Matt is the beeping of digital cameras or the “click” of a smartphone taking a pic. Once the kiss happens then it’s fair game. Maybe this makes me a control freak but I know that  it’s an increasingly common request among brides and grooms these days for guests to put the cell phones away and just enjoy. This is the one time when I get to call the shots and for the 20 mins or so that our ceremony lasts I want to go back to basics before people were glued to their phones and feeling the need to document every moment. I am as hooked to my iPhone as the next person and love taking pictures at weddings but I know that if a couple requested an “unplugged” ceremony I would respect their wishes. Here is good article about the perks of going “unplugged”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/why-you-might-want-to-con_b_3331528.html

Aside from oogling at people’s wedding pics on Facebook I know that attending weddings will feel different now that we are engaged. I already know that I’m going to be reading into every detail and making mental notes on what I do (or don’t) want to do at our own wedding. I think when throwing a party like this there is a lot of pressure to impress people. We will have quite a few guests traveling from out of town, state,  and even out of the country to come for our wedding so it’s important to us to make it worth their while!  This can feel a little daunting however when you’re on a budget and overwhelmed by the cost of everything. Weddings are expensive and there really is no way around it. Even people who plan all the DIY projects they can imagine often still end up spending more on supplies and craft materials than they would have had they just bought the items already made. I hope to find a good balance with this where I will do some DIY to add personal touches to our wedding but also knowing when it’s worth it to just fork over the money and let someone else do the work. This next couple months will involve a lot of brainstorming, list writing, and budgeting for things like decorations, flowers, and favors. While we want to make guests happy ultimately we don’t want to be buried in debt after this is over and we are inviting people who love us and (we hope) are genuinely happy for us and want to be there for more that the free food and booze. We can’t wait to share our wedding day with the friends and family we’re inviting and just want it to be the best it can be for what we can afford!

As the weekend approaches I’m getting more and more excited to go home with Matt. He hasn’t been home in a long time so he’s excited to see our families and we are both SUPER pumped to go to Dinosaur BBQ and have a campfire Saturday night at my parent’s house. Neither of us have seen our families since getting engaged so it will be fun to see everyone and my family will finally get to see my ring. That reminds me that I’m in desperate need of a manicure. Never in my life have I been more self conscious about the condition of my fingernails! I am also getting more excited about dress shopping on Saturday. I have been feeling some mixed emotions and worrying that I’m going to be nervous or self conscious and not like the way I look in the dresses but I need to let that go and just enjoy it. These dresses are designed to make you look good and I need to just be open minded and not so critical of myself. This is a once in a lifetime experience and I need to enjoy every moment.

 

 

Thoughts on marrying a cop and other random marriage pondering..

It’s Monday and I’m not happy about it. This weekend went by way too fast probably due to how great it was! Saturday Matt and I got up early and went and hiked Bear Mountain. It was a beautiful day and the hike felt really good. I’m coming to realize that hiking, especially mountains, is my favorite kind of exercise. It allows me to get a great workout while at the same time exploring the outdoors and accomplishing something. Parts of the climb were pretty dicey since it had rained the day before and some of the rocks were slippery and muddy, but it makes getting to the top feel even better. I love that Matt enjoys doing these things with me and the more we go on hikes and adventures the more excited we get about setting goals and making plans for future trips. 

In hindsight perhaps we should have stuck to a hike on level ground because the following day we had the NYPD Memorial 5K first thing in the morning and Mannnn were we sore. The weather was beautiful though as we made our day down to the financial district and over to the west side highway. We met up with a friend and co-worker of Matt’s who ran the race with us. Before the race there was a prayer service by the New York City Police Memorial that has the list of all the fallen police officers.

It was touching to be there surrounded by police officers and their families as they honored and prayed for the men and women who have died protecting and serving the people of New York. It made me really proud to stand there beside Matt and know the risk he takes every time he goes to work. I am in denial much of the time about how potentially dangerous his job can be but I guess that’s better than living in a constant state of worry and anxiety. I know that he is good at his job and is careful. Being at the race and surrounded by all those police families just got me thinking about how different marrying a police officer is than being with someone who has a “normal” job or an office job and is home for dinner every night. Matt and I only have dinner together 2 or 3 times a week depending on the week and sometimes less. He only has weekends off a couple times a year and most nights doesn’t get home until after midnight. Now that we are planning our wedding he is working as much overtime as he can which means even less time at home. When I hear friends or other people complain about their significant other coming home late or being away for the weekend or a business trip it’s hard for me not to feel some resentment and jealousy. I just have to keep in mind that everyone is different and I can’t compare my situation to other people. This is my choice. I know that many women wouldn’t dream of marrying a cop for these exact reasons. I know that for the next 12 or 13 years (at least) I will have to spend many nights, weekends, holidays, and special occasions apart from Matt as he does his job.  I can’t allow myself to be needy and overly dependent on him. I will always need to be flexible when it comes to making plans since his schedule may change at any time. I have to be patient when he’s had a rough day at work and give him space if he needs it (even if I haven’t seen him for days and want to spend time with him!). I need to be patient when he nags me about locking doors and leaving my purse around and I am always making sure he is at a seat in the restaurant where he can see everything going on (something I did not understand at all when we started dating.) I need to be sensitive to the fact that the question “how was work?” is not always going to have a simple answer or one that I necessarily want to hear. 

Being in this relationship has taught me a lot and helped me be a stronger more independent person than I ever was in past relationships. I am healthier than I’ve ever been in my adult life and am doing things that I never used to do. I’m focusing on making sure I’m the best version of myself that I can be not only for me but for my relationship. I have a huge respect now for the wives and families of police officers and I still find it hard to believe that I am engaged to one myself. I am excited to start our life together and see what this path has in store for me. I know that it’s not going to be easy and I’m going to have many times when I will be frustrated and jealous of “normal” wives but I know that I’m very lucky to have an awesome group of friends and a supportive family who is always there for me. I love my police officer and wouldn’t trade him for anything.

As far as wedding planning another thing that made this weekend nice was there was virtually NO wedding talk. We needed a break from that and it was nice to just have fun. We did FaceTime with my brother, Brian, though and Matt asked him to be a groomsman which was really sweet. He is excited I think to be a part of the wedding and we are really excited to have all our siblings be a part of the ceremony. On Matt’s side it will be his brother Chris (best man), his cousin Kenny, and my brother Brian. My nephew, Owen, will of course be the ring bearer. He will be about 1 and a half and it will be adorable!

Maybe I will have more wedding planning things to write about next time. Right now I’m just waiting for our DJ to email me letting me know she received our contract and our deposit. Sometime this week we will be receiving an information package from our photographer too which will be exciting!

 

 

Random Friday thoughts of excitement!!!

It’s FRIDAYYYYYYY! I’m super excited about this weekend and can’t wait for 5 o’clock to arrive. Matt and I are running in the NYPD Memorial 5K on Sunday so we are heading down to the Police Academy tonight to pick up our race bibs! After that we plan to go to the bar where we met up for our first date and have a couple beers. It’s called Spitzer’s Corner and it’s in the Lower East Side. Hopefully the rain will keep people away and we will get to sit at the bar in the place where we first met up.

As far as wedding planning goes there’s really nothing for me to do at this moment. I hope to go and look at dresses when I’m home in a couple weeks and have my Nana and mom come with me and hopefully Jenn will be able to come! It’s important for me to have my Nana be there when I try on dresses at least once so she can be a part of that. I don’t plan to buy one during this first outting. I just want to try a couple on and see if what I style I like. I’m thinking I want a trumpet style or A-Line. If you had asked me a couple months ago what either of those things were I wouldn’t know what to tell you.

I’m pretty much in love with style from pictures anyway. My concern is that I find a dress that hides my trouble areas and highlights the RIGHT curves. I am fully aware that not everyone can pull off a mermaid but I’m hoping the trumpet will be more forgiving.

The other thing I’ve been pondering over are the colors I want for the wedding. I keep coming back to mint and red. Mint/aqua dresses and red shoes and flowers. I would also have Ivory and coral accents in the decorations and ribbons to bring in more colors and contrast. I just find this palette to be so adorable and unique.

 

Matt was hesitant about this combo at first but even he has come around. I was toying with tan/neutral dresses too but Matt will not budge on that. He doesn’t like that and would prefer a color so I’m pretty sure mint/red it will be! Some women wish their fiancé would be more opinionated when it comes to wedding planning. All I can say is be careful what you wish for! Matt has some strong opinions so there will be much compromise. Also he has been in more weddings than anyone I know so I do value his opinion. He’s excited that it’s finally his turn to get married and he wants to be a part of the planning which I think is awesome. 🙂

The part I am probably most excited to plan as the day gets closer is the ceremony. We are truly blessed that our dear friend Christine will be officiating our wedding!!! She has done several of her friend’s weddings in the past and I knew she must be amazing but it wasn’t until I saw her officiate Jenn and Jayse’s wedding that I truly understood the time and effort she puts into it. She made the ceremony so personal and spoke beautifully. After that I couldn’t imagine having anyone else marry us. I am excited to go over my ideas with her and get her input and I know she’s going to do an amazing job.

Today is going to drag by so there might be  another post later if i think of something to write about. June is DEAD here at the school so I literally have nothing to do! IS IT 5 YET!?

Shouldn’t I be doing something..?

In my first post I discussed how hectic the weeks immediately following our engagement were. I was a bit panicky, I cried a couple times, and of course lashed out at my fiancé over things that really weren’t that serious. However my anxious personality and need to be prepared for all the things came in handy this time since I officially have most of the major vendors booked for our wedding and we have over a year til the big day! Now I find myself with this nagging feeling that I should be doing/planning something but at the moment there isn’t much that needs to be done aside from try to save money.

For pictures my first choice was the awesomely talented photographer who shot Jenn’s wedding last July. I was a bridesmaid in Jenn’s wedding and I liked the fact that I had met the photographer and felt comfortable around her.. not to mention the pictures from Jenn’s wedding came out BEAUTIFUL. Unfortunately when I inquired about her rates/availability she told me she only had one wedding booked for 2015 and it happens to be on our date!! Boooo. I freaked out a bit and panicked. Taking pictures is a hobby of mine and I found that I am extremely critical and picky when it comes to picking someone to take pictures on what is to be one of the best and most important days of my life. I don’t claim to be any kind of expert but I know enough about photography to know when I see someone with talent who understands basics of composition and lighting.. and also knows how to make people look good! These days it seems like anyone with a digital camera or an iPhone thinks they should start a facebook page and call themselves a photographer. I must have looked at the facebook pages and websites of dozens of “Photographers” who frankly look like they’ve had about as much professional training as I have. (NONE) Wedding photographers are NOT cheap and I refuse to pay someone thousands of dollars to do something I feel that I could do just as well (or better) on my own. Thankfully, Jenn’s photographer recommended a friend of hers who actually trained with her and therefor has a similar style. I was attracted to the professionalism in her Blog and website so I contacted her. Her prices were right, she was available for our date, and I just love her pictures and her style. I know I will still be a nervous wreck and worrying that I wont like the pictures but I need to just give up control and trust her. 

I AM SOOOO grateful to have Jenn’s expertise and experience at my disposal. She got married upstate just last year and her wedding was amazing so she’s been there to give me advice and recommendations for vendors. The big one was the DJ. We will be using Ormond Entertainment who did her wedding and I just can’t wait to work with these people. They are so on top things and detail oriented. I know that I won’t have a thing to worry about on my wedding day because these folks take their job super seriously and have thought of every detail. Matt is especially excited to work on picking wedding songs and he already knows what song he wants to dance with his mom to. He is a big softie and I just know I’m going to be a all ugly crying on the sidelines watching him dance with his momma. I can’t wait!

I just booked our hair and makeup appointments today also. Most people will say it’s ridiculously early to book that but I wanted to be sure that we got appointments at the spa at turning stone casino. The prices are reasonable and it’s so convenient to be able to get hair and makeup done all at once in the same space. Also it’s only a 10 min drive from the hotel. Yay!

Next on my list is finding transportation to shuttle guests back and forth between the hotel and the venue. We don’t want people drankin and drivin! I have called a handful of places and it’s looking like we might be renting a school bus (not kidding). I really dont care what the thing looks like as long is it doesnt’ break down and it gets my guests to the hotel safely!

This post was long and rambling and for that I apologize. Work is extremely slow this week so I have way too much free time on my hands. Typing here makes it look to people like I’m super busy which is kind of nice. Matt and I are heading home in a couple weeks for our tasting and I’m hoping to get to a bridal salon to take a look at dresses with whoever can join me. I’m anxious to try one of those bad boys on!

Until next time!!

 

Choosing… (wait for it).. BRIDESMAIDS!!

Most girls have it in their head who they want their bridesmaids to be before they even meet the man they are going to marry.. or WAY before they meet him. I am only having three bridesmaids and none of them were childhood friends or even highschool friends who I always thought would be in my wedding. The truth is that circumstances change, people grow together or apart, and when it comes time to choose bridesmaids you might end up with a group of people you’d never expect to have.

I have a fairly large group of girl friends from college and would have liked to have ALL off them be a part of my wedding but it’s just not realistic. I know first hand that being a bridesmaid is quite a commitment both financially and emotionally and being the already anxiety prone person that I am I knew it would be best for me to keep it simple and minimal to keep stress low for myself and all involved.

I knew right away that I’d want Matt’s sister, Katie, to be a bridesmaid. She is fabulous and sweet and I can’t wait to be her sister-in-law and have her a part of our big day.  After that it was very easy to choose my other two bridesmaids. I just thought of who my closest friends are.. friends who have seen me at my best and worst…who have been there for me through breakups, guy drama, seen me laugh and cry, and have been along for the ride to witness my relationship with Matt grow into what it is today. I chose the two women in my life who I don’t see going anywhere anytime soon… my friends Jenn (MOH) and Meg. These are women I respect and admire and who know how to handle my crazy and keep me (somewhat) sane throughout this process. They understand the kind of person I am and know my taste and style. They will respect the fact that I am repulsed my male strippers and will like no penis shaped paraphernalia at my bachelorette party. They accepted my proposal to be bridesmaids without hesitation and I know they are sincerely happy for me. I know I made the right choices and will have all the help I need during the next year.  🙂

A lot of brides stress out big time over choosing bridesmaids and feel a lot of guilt over choosing some people over others. My feeling is that you should go with your gut and do what’s best for you. For me keeping the group small was the best option. I know that my other friends will understand and will be happy to come and party it up (without having to spend the $$ on a bridesmaid dress or hair/makeup, etc.!!) I can’t wait to have these three girls by my side when I get married. ❤

 

Engaged for 3 weeks!

Here it is! I was encouraged by my lovely friend, Josie, to start a wedding blog so herrree we go! I guess I think of this as a way to help me organize my own thoughts and document my experience as I plan my wedding and get ready for this next stage of my life with Matt (my fiance!! Oh lala!) . I want to focus on the parts of being engaged that people don’t usually talk about. After the initial excitement and shock post-proposal wears off and the reality hits that you are GETTING MARRIED  this can bring up a whole array of emotions. I am experiencing them right now and let me tell you I was not warned off this before getting engaged. There are certain feelings and experiences that you just won’t understand until they happen to you.. and even then it’s hard to explain.

Even though I knew the proposal was coming he still managed to take me off guard and surprise me. Matt popped the question on a tiny bridge along the Charles River in the rain after we arrived in Boston on his 30th birthday. I had been planning the trip for months as his birthday gift and was fairly certain he wouldn’t propose during the trip (too obvious, right?) and definitely didn’t imagine him proposing outside during a rain storm. It was imperfectly perfect and in retrospect totally “us”. We joked later that I got my wish about not wanting people around during the proposal since we were the only people crazy enough to be out by the river in that weather. It was one of those moments in life that felt like an out of body experience as he got down on one knee and pulled out the ring box. I’m pretty sure I told him “Stop! Oh my god! What are you doing?! ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS NOW?!” Definitely not your typical magical picture perfect reaction like in the movies.. but what can I say? I don’t always react well to surprises!  After I finally said “yes” and had the ring on my finger I had a goofy grin plastered on my face for the rest of the afternoon and night. I kept staring at the ring. I couldn’t believe we were officially engaged and this man who I’m completely in love with and can’t picture my life without feels the same way about me. It’s a hard thing for me still to wrap my head around!

The past few weeks since getting engaged have been a whirlwind of planning, pinteresting, phone calls, emails, contract signing, and check writing. We have been talking about planning our wedding in our heads for months now so once it became official we wasted no time getting solid plans together. Our wedding is next June which gives us a little over a year to plan! Considering we already have most of the big things planned/booked I’m hoping I can chill out for awhile and just enjoy our engagement without turning into too much of a psycho. It’s important to me to have conversations with Matt and my friends that don’t revolve around wedding stuff. It’s even more important to me that we don’t get so swept up in planning our wedding day that we lose sight of the whole point of it all. The wedding lasts ONE DAY. All of this planning and stress is all for one day of our lives. After that  day ends we have a lifetime together and a marriage to care for. I don’t want to lose sight of the big picture and my main priority is being healthy and continuing to building a strong healthy relationship with Matt. We plan to only do this getting married thing once so we want to do it right. 🙂